September 29, 1996

Throughout life we have people that come in and out of our lives that change us either for the good or sometimes for the worst.  There are moments that make us better or make us bitter.  I've had all of the above throughout my life as I'm sure most of you have.  Sometimes there are moments that encompass all of those at the same time.  Tomorrow is the anniversary of one of those moments for me.

It's crazy how it can be 17 years ago and there are days where it feels like it was just yesterday and then there are days where it seems like it's been 17 years.  It's crazy how some days just the mention of a memory can bring me to tears and then days I can go about talking about my memories and they not phase me.  It's crazy how a person can have the kind of impact on your life and 17 years after they are gone they are still impacting your life.

That person for me was a guy named Tony Brown.  I met Tony when I was in 4th or 5th grade at a church camp where he worked as one of the "slop line" guys. They were the guys that sat outside the cafeteria with trash cans and you had to strategically put your trash into the various trash cans.  I will never forget the one time I did it wrong and he yelled at me.  I being the sensitive person I am busted out in tears and he felt horrible. This was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. :)   A few years later our church hired him as the youth minister/music minister at our church.

Tony became the big brother I had always wanted.  We were really inseparable.  He became the best friend I ever had.  When I got into the youth group that didn't change. We were still best friends. We spent our summers going to camps, conferences, tubing down the river, concerts, etc.  He loved everyone in our youth group, even the ones that were "unlovable."  He knew how to make people feel special and his goal was always to get a laugh especially when you didn't want to laugh that day.

Tony had one of those personalities that just made people want to be around him.  He was crazy, always had crazy ideas.....like the time he decided to put on an afro wig and walk around the mall and then while in the bathroom a very large black man walks up next to him and asks if he had a problem. Tony said "nope."  Or maybe the time he and his younger but taller brother went and bought matching horribly ugly outfits and walked around the mall all day with them on.  Or maybe the time we had a contest to see who could fit the most cheese balls in their mouth. Or maybe the time me & another girl saran wrapped his toilet seat after our devotional at a conference and the next morning he snuck into our room with the help of  our room sponsor and put a baby ruth candy bar on our pillow to look like someone had pooped on our pillow and then proceeded to jump on our bed screaming to wake us up.  Or maybe it was the time he let me set my tent up next to the water when we were camping because he knew I was going to wake up soaking wet. Or maybe it was the time he was taking my to my grandparents house after a youth event before I was old enough to drive and when the police officer pulled him over for speeding he started questioning why he had a young girl in the car with him.....that one was a classic.  Or maybe it was his crazy wild pants that he loved to wear that were blinding with color.  Oh there are so many stories that I could go on an on writing about.

There are so many memories I have and so many times I wish that I could call him when I'm having a bad day, or when I'm questioning anything about myself, I wish he could know my daughters, I wish he could know my husband if only for the very reason that sometimes he needs a good slapping around and I know that Tony would be more than happy to do that for me. :) Really though, he would love Jim and I wish that Jim would've been able to know him.

I will never forget that last day I spent with Tony.  We had auditions for our Christmas musical that the church choir was going to be doing and I also had auditions the next day for a musical I was trying to be a part of.  We were in his office talking after the auditions and he pulled me down to talk to me and it was one of those conversations that looking back, it was almost like he knew it was going to be our last conversation.  He told me he knew I was going to do well in the audition the next day and to not be me and get nervous, he told me he loved me and that he would always love me, he told me that he was proud of me.  I will never forget that conversation.

I had really had a rough few years that resulted in my parents pulling me out of school and homeschooling me so I spent every day with Tony at the church when my mom was at work, because I had to go with her up there to do my school work (yes I was that bad LOL!) I'm so glad I did though because I got lots of extra time with my best friend.

 I went for several years letting his death make me bitter.  I was so mad, mad at God that my best friend was gone.  He was one of the only people I ever had in my life that I could confide in and know that it would be kept confidential and that regardless of how dumb I was acting, he would still love me.  Letting go of that anger was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do but it was the right thing to do. 

I still miss that guy like crazy.  Some days I could just really use a Tony Brown smile or hug or joke or gentle okay not so gentle reminder to not act like an idiot.  Oh to be the kind of person that still makes an impact on a life 17 years after I'm gone.  I want to be that kind of person.

Motherhood is.....sacrificing your sweet tea!

So I've had one of those evenings where I've thoroughly enjoyed being a mother.  I mean I really thoroughly enjoy it every day but for some reason today has been one of those days where I'm sitting here thinking of just how truly blessed I am. Maybe because I had a horrible, not so good, terrible, bad day at  work and maybe just simply because I truly am blessed. 

I truly have the most amazing children. There's no doubt.  Most days I can't fathom why God chose me to be the mother of these 2 beautiful girls.  Their outsides are beautiful but their insides are too.

I love that Bella is so caring, encouraging, and was truly born with a heart of gold.  I love how she loves gymnastics and tries to incorporate it into everything....literally everything she does. haha! I can't turn around many times without caching her doing a cartwheel, front roll, hand stand, or something. I love that she loves school. I love that she loves her friends.  I love that she loves to help.  I love that she LOVES to ask questions....even though sometimes in that moment I'm not so glad about that. :) But most of all I love that she loves God.

I love that Jenna is so innocent and tender hearted.  I love that she still wants to be my baby.  I love that she truly beats her own drum and doesn't care if no one else wants to join her.  I love that she is developing a love for art and drawing.  I love that she loves music and is so intrigued by music.  I love that she is making new friends at school. I love that she loves her teacher.  And again I most of all love that she loves God.

I am blessed. There are moments where I really want to just pull my hair out but I'm blessed......even if it means they drank all of my sweet tea that I just got from Chicken Express on the way home from gymnastics before I even got a sip. :)

I saw God today

To say this week has been interesting has been an understatement.  Sunday afternoon at lunch we received a phone call that my mom's uncle and his wife had been in a car accident and both had passed away.  They were headed to church when a car veered into their lane and hit them head on.  This was definitely a shock and honestly it took a little bit for it to hit me. 

My Uncle Richard (that's what I called him) is my Granny's brother.  He was one of those men that really never had a lot to say and when he did he was very quiet and soft spoken.  He worked hard and he loved his family.  I have lots of memories of my Uncle Richard.  Every single one of them involve family. He loved his wife Laura.  He loved his kids Lynell and Jason, he loved his grandkids, and he loved the other kids in the family that weren't his. He played the guitar and my Granny loved to hear him play. A lot of my memories, at least recent ones, involve him and the family sitting in a circle listening to him play while we all or most of us sang along. 

It's funny how God's timing works.  While we've been grieving the loss of a precious family member who will be so very missed, I saw God today, some precious friends of mine welcomed their beautiful baby girl into the world today.  It was a nice break for a moment to be able to celebrate a life coming into the world as we are getting ready to remember a life that has left this world. 

It reminded me of Job 1:21 " Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I shall return there. The Lord gave and the lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."  It was a different situation in the book of Job but it gave me some comfort today. 

I will miss my Uncle Richard. I didn't see him that often but I know that when our family gets together there will definitely be a big piece missing. 

I don't know why I'm always so amazed at how God works. The fact that he can take those moments of sadness and give us a moment of joy is just beyond me. I'm amazed that while I can grieve the loss of a life I can at the same time celebrate a new life.  That just wows me!

Today also made me think of this song that will be just a little bit sweeter every time I heard it because I saw God today!

1st Day of School

I've been dreading this day since last year.  Bella started 2nd grade today and if that wasn't hard enough, my baby Jenna started Kindergarten today.  Where has the time gone and can someone please make it slow down??????

I have really tried the last few weeks to be excited about Jenna starting school because she is my more gentle, less independent child.  I knew I had to be strong or she wouldn't be.  So we started doing things like picking out backpacks and lunch kits and school supplies and shoes, then talking to big sister about what school is like and how much fun it's going to be.  Bella has been pretty great these last few weeks talking up how exciting school is and how much fun Jenna was going to have.

Last night several people from our church went to the different schools in our town and prayed at each one for the students, teachers, principals, staff, and everyone that would have any type of impact on our kids lives this school year.  Then when we got home, our family had a personal time of prayer and it was so sweet. I am so glad that we took the time to do that as a family.  Jenna's prayer was so sweet.  There is nothing like the faith of a child! NOTHING!

Jenna had a small breakdown after I put her to bed but once that was over she did fine! We got right up this morning, got dressed, had breakfast, took pictures, and headed to school.  Bella kept encouraging Jenna this morning and I am so thankful she did.  We got Bella dropped off at her class and then headed to Jenna's.  Her Gigi & Papa came along per her request. :) 

The drop off went surprisingly well.  I started getting teary eyed when she grabbed my neck and asked me to hold her. Of course I held her but started encouraging her and told her how much fun she was going to have.

When I picked the girls up, they came out of the school holding hands. It was so sweet! They got in the car and all in all had an awesome 1st day. Jenna is excited about going back and Bella had an awesome day and even met some new friends and she was very excited about that.

Not a bad 1st day and mommy held herself together pretty well too. :)

Pickling Peppers

My hubby loves jalapeno peppers. When we were planning our garden this year he had big hopes of me pickling peppers this year. I've never pickeled anything and was a little hesitant but I told him if the pepper plants did well this year I would give it a try.  Well he planted several plants and they are one of the only things that did well in our garden this year. 

I've been really frustrated with the garden this year. Our tomato plants haven't done well at all and I'm not sure why.  Our squash hasn't done well.  The okra has done pretty well and the pepper have done really well.

A few weeks ago we did a trial round with our first round of peppers from the garden and they turned out pretty good. So today we harvested a lot of peppers and gave it another try.  They turned out really good this time! They are in the refrigerator cooling off now and in a few days they will be good to go!

So how did we do it? I'm glad you asked :)

We searched the internet for a good recipe.  Read lots of blogs, searched Pinterest, and we found a super easy recipe here. We used this recipe the first go around and the jalapenos were a little too sweet for our liking so this time we tweaked it just a little and this is what we came up with.

For the jalapenos you will need:

A couple of pint sized mason jars (sterilized) - we just ran them through the dishwasher
15 fresh jalapenos
1 cup of white vinegar
1 cup of filtered water
2 cloves of garlic (peeled & slightly crushed)
1 tbsp. kosher salt
1 tbsp. peppercorns
1 tbsp. sugar (the original recipe called for 4 tbsp. it was just too sweet for us)

Take your garlic, vinegar, water, sugar & salt and bring it to a boil on the stove.
Once the liquids are at a good boil dump in the sliced jalapenos.
Remove from the heat and put a lid over the pot and let it sit for 10-15 minutes.  Make sure all of the sliced jalapenos are submerged in the liquid.
The peppers will start to change color slightly but that's okay, you want them to. ;)

After the 15 minutes grab you a pair of tongs and put just the peppers into the mason jar(s). Go ahead and fill up the 1st jar and then if you need the second one fill that one up, but go ahead and pack those bad boys in there.  Once you've taken all of the peppers out of the liquid, pour the liquid in the jars on top of the peppers and seal them immediately.  Stick them in the fridge.  I suggest letting them sit in the jar in the fridge for about a week before opening them up. This gives them plenty of time to soak in all the juice.


Don't be afraid to try it. It was super easy and they turned out really, really good. I'm glad hubby made me give it a try. I would've never thought I could be  pickler :)

Here are few pictures of our pickling festivities from the day :)

Splish Splash

I just realized it's been forever since I wrote a blog post.  After vacation, the summer has been pretty dull for the most part.  That's the bad thing about taking vacation at the very beginning of summer. We may have to space it out a little farther out next year.

The girls have had lots of fun this summer, Gigi takes them swimming almost every day while mommy & daddy are at work. They've also gotten to go visit with some of mommy's friends while Gigi & Papa were out of town. So their summer hasn't been as uneventful as mommy & daddy's. :)

We decided this week that we need a family fun day! Today was the first Saturday in about three weeks that we haven't had something going on so we decided to head out to Canton, Texas and visit the Splash Kingdom waterpark.

We haven't been out there in a long time so it was fun to go back and spend the day with the girls. It is a very family friendly waterpark and there is a lot of things for the kids, even the small kids.  In fact, there aren't that many slides that kids can't do.  The kids area is huge and there is plenty to keep everyone in the family occupied.

Sadly, I didn't get ANY pictures today.  When we were leaving I realized I had not taken any picture and felt horrible BUT I was so busy having fun playing with the girls it just slipped my mind.

It was a great day and I'm so glad we decided to spend it in the water.  Lord knows it's hot enough outside. :)

Weekend Wrap Up

We got to go to the Mesquite Rodeo last night with my parents.  My dad was gifted free tickets so he took the family. We actually got to sit in a suite and it was really nice. The best part about the whole night is we didn't have to spend any money. :) Gotta love those trips!!

We go to the rodeo at least once a year and have done that as long as I can remember.  It was sad last night to see so many open seats. People just don't have the love for the rodeo like they used to.

We had so much fun watching the cowboys and all of the animals.  Bella shares my hatred for tie down roping.  It always makes me so sad. We got to watch some young bull riders and that was cool.  As a mom it made me cringe but it was neat to see the youngsters participate.  There was even a little boy from Forney that rode a bull and he did really good!

Today we had church and our A2 group met after church.  I love our group. It's so neat getting to know other people in the church and building relationships! It was my turn to hang out with the kids so we set the slip and slide up in the front yard and let the kids go to town. They seemed to have a blast. 

It was a great weekend. I'm kind of sad it's over, but looking forward to what this week has in store for us. Hopefully lots of fun!

Here are a few pictures from our weekend